Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ketchup Anyone?

There was an article in the Acton paper the other day that I read and was absolutely dying to post and share with you all. It was entitled (or something similar): "The 7 Deadly Ketchup Sins". Because Jamie threw the paper out with the recycling last night, I can no longer post the article in its entirety. I did a google search, but as I feared, the Acton Digest or Acton Chronicles or whatever the heck our town paper is called doesn't yet constitute enough internet-importance. And so, because of my great love of the most wonderfully diverse condiment, I have decided to delve into the recesses of my short-term memory to bring you just some of those 7 deadly sins and then proceed to pick apart each inaccurate point written by obvious anti-ketchup people.

1. Pertaining to Hot Dogs: Ketchup should only be used on hotdogs if you are under the age of 18. The point being that after the age of 18, it is considered "childish" to request less sophisticated toppings than onions or sauerkraut or relish. All together now: "EEEEWWWW!". And even then it is not appropriate to dress the hotdog bun, but only the dog should be dressed with condiments. Well I dare say I would never ever in my entire life eat another hot dog EVER not even EVER if could not dress both the dog and the bun in oodles of oozing ketchup.

2. Ketchup should not be kept in the fridge. I guess that's why the bottle says "refrigerate after opening"? Also, it just tastes better in the fridge.

3. Ketchup should never be used as a second topping over gravy. GASP! What? I have no comment other than "Egad!", my mind simply cannot process this statement.

4. Ketchup should never be used as a "sauce" on steak costing more than $1.99/lb. In my opinion if it costs more, then you should absolutely enjoy the savoury cut of meat to the fullest. Ketchup makes food taste better. Therefore if you want your expensive steak to taste better then adding ketchup just makes sense.

5. The ketchup bottle should also be kept clean and wiped free of any spillage on the lid after each usage. I am in complete and total agreement, nothing worse than a nasty sticky ketchup bottle.

6. Ketchup should never be used on chicken but should always accompany french fries, hamburgers, and eggs. Why must we be so judgemental? Why does the chicken have to suffer? And whilst many people do add ketchup to their eggs, I personally find this rather gross. But people, I am open-minded. If you enjoy ketchup on your eggs, I say go for it. If you enjoy ketchup on your chicken, I say go for that too.

7. If you are a guest at another house and ketchup is not on the table, you are not permitted to ask for it. What kind of inhospitable guest doesn't have ketchup as a regular part of their table spread? If you are this person, do not invite me over to your house for a meal. Please. lol :)

and I will add a #8. in honour of my hubby

8. Heinz - there's no other Keinz. I must admit that while living with Jamie I have become quite fond of Heinz Ketchup. BUT, if it comes down to "No name" ketchup or no ketchup at all, then I choose the NO NAME brand fo' sho'.
Happy Birthday Heinz - 130 years old this year! (Click for some interesting trivia tidbits).

This post goes out to all of you ketchup-lovers out there. (Tho' I doubt anyone could love ketchup than Jamie and I combined. And then add my brother to the mix and it gets ridiculous!)

And also to Jennifer, the biggest non-ketchup lover I've ever met in my entire life. I just don't understand it!


Stephanie said...

I think ketchup is okay in general but ketchup on eggs is pretty gross!

Quirky Christa said...

Have to agree with how gross ketchup is on eggs. But I do love ketchup on chicken (especially if it's Swiss chalet)