Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Like 7 Inches from the Midday Sun

Yes, it's a hot one! 7:30am and it's already 25 degrees celcius. Yesterday it went up to 41 degrees celcius (that's about 106 for you fahrenheit folks) with the humidity...crazy I tell you! I can't complain of course since I work in an air-conditioned office but my dear hubby who works in a warehouse and unloads steaming hot metal trailers...yup, he was practically cooked by the time he got home.

And just like with a full moon, the hot weather brings out some of the weirdness in people:

I think a lady in the office who's already slightly unstable has broken out into a full conversation with herself. I walk over and hear "Son of a......Seabisquit" which made me break into an eruption of laughter inside my own head like when Will Farrell in ELF did the "Son of a...Nutcracker" thing (I just love that movie). Now that I think of it, she's kinda talking to her computer screen - is that better? Full conversation with a piece of office equipment? hmmm...I guess the computer is pushing all the wrong keys again, entering all the wrong information, printer just has a mind of its own and starts involuntarily spitting out paper...God, I hate it when that happens!

Guy next door came over to chat with Jamie whilst BBQing last evening. And I was chatting too and squealed slightly when I saw the biggest most giant ant ever in the whole wide world on my steps approaching my kitty cat who was chillin' out in the heat and eating every blade of grass in sight. If it wasn't for the fact that my kitty cat is also enormous I would have thought the ant could have totally carried him off. Ants can carry like 5000X their body weight people! So I think my concern may have been legit had I a pet weighing that of a normal feline. Anyways, I say to the neighbour who I don't even really know yet, "Kill it!"
"You can't kill it?" he asks
"No" giving him the "are you mad?" stare and pointing down, "flipflops" (Flipflops are not appropriate bug-killing footwear)
He laughs
"But you're wearing big boots...you get it" I squeak
And then he knocks it off my step and down to the grass and says, "Let it go free" in his deep authoritative european accent.
Ok, HUGE ant on my steps and he's letting it go free. That's ok, he'll know better when the ant goes to his house and tries to carry away his son or something.

And then I chose yesterday to be the first day of a little exercise routine Jennifer discovered online. It combines 20 minutes of "strength training" with 30 minutes of cardio (walking for me) 3 times a week. Yesterday was HOT, the kind of HOT when Health Canada tells people to stay inside and exert as little energy as possible because of the extreme humidex. And I begin exercising on this particular day. Great idea Myrna. Brilliant. But had I been a guy instead of a water-retaining woman I could have easily lost 8 lbs just by sweating it out sitting on the front steps. Alas, it is not nearly that easy for me and walking my ass off (I hope literally) in 40 degree heat was the next available option.

Today's lesson: Gobstoppers actually taste quite good this early in the morning. Try it, it's the making of a beautiful sugar-filled day. (Wasn't I just now talking about exercising in this exact same blog entry? How quickly I get off track...)

I think maybe the heat could be getting to ME now...I really should go do some work.

Oh, and just found out that yesterday afternoon a guy SHOT himself after shooting a guy in the leg just down the frikkin' street. Like, literally, right next to the Tim Hortons and Wendy's that Jennifer and I frequent...um...on occassion...like not twice a week or anything outrageous like that. Ya know I could totally see someone shooting someone in the leg because they didn't have air conditioning on a day like yesterday. Jamie could have almost done that when our air conditioning wasn't quite working properly last night. I wonder if that's where it all started...guy is crazy hot with frying brain cells and goes to a guy in stripmall down the road, "I demand air conditioning be installed in my house TODAY!" to which came the reply, "very sorry sir, no air conditioning fo' you until next week, too busy this week." And then psycho guy goes and pulls out the ammo and says "Oh yeah, well take this...boom!....now you know the kind of pain I'm in from this unbearable heat"...and then he realizes that being hot with no a/c will not stand as reasoning with la policia and decides to put an end to the 40deg misery. Such a sad story!
*I am totally not mocking this terribly horrible situation, just letting my imagination run wild (like the reporters do) cause I really think my scenario is completely possible...crimes have been committed for lesser things you know.

2 comments:

Quirky Christa said...

Your post is funny today :) And NO gobstoppers this early in the morning!!

dafrhug said...

lol, I think the heat has gone to your own brain as well. LMAO.