Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Do you have the sithers?

Thought it was funny so I put it as my title: "Sithers" Otherwise known as: the hubster asking me for the SCISSORS. lol...I'm such a fun-maker.

Remember back last September (yeah, who am I kidding, right? who can remember yesterday even?) when I wrote this and then this. Anyways, he came back in the office today. I didn't speak to him. He just came in to pick up a typewriter for repair and then was off again. But I was just so excited to see him. Totally made my day, believe it or not.

Know what also made my day? My midwife appointment. Wanna know why? Cause my hubby decided to go with me and we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time ever! It was so exciting. The midwife is doing her thing with the doppler and Jamie and I are just grinning at each other from either side of her. After having apprehensive moments lately about being in the stage of not really feeling or looking pregnant, it really was the most beautiful sound ever. But then my midwife kinda subtly gave me heck about my not so great picky-eating and the beautiful moment ended (however temporary, still messed up my joy in that moment...the joy has since returned).

And then despite having to work late, I have something else that totally made my day. Boy, I really did have a good day, didn't I? I walk in my house at like 6:15 and there's the hubster with the couch and love seat and cushions all pulled out in the middle of the living room and he's vacuuming like a madman. And then I go in the kitchen and supper (spaghetti and meat sauce) is COOKED and waiting for me. Yup, today I love my husband. Tomorrow, we'll see how it goes. lol :)

Monday, September 25, 2006

Olivia's Christening





I'm BACK...

Ok, so it's really weird that I haven't been blogging I know. Normally, I love this "journalling" thing so much that I'm totally on top of it, at least a couple of entries a week. These past 3 weeks, however, have been craziness!! Jenny was off on vacation which meant more work for me to do. And because (shhhhh!) I almost always blog at my desk in the office, that meant no blogging pour moi...suffering. severe. withdrawals. from making the whole world wide web aware of my life story.

I missed telling you about two of my nieces-in-laws birthdays....Happy Birthday Chloe and Happy Birthday Grayson! Born within 4 days of each other on Sept 20th and Sept 24th respectively, they are both 2 years old this year. Unfortunately we don't get to see Chloe on her birthdays because she's back in Nfld but we did go to Grayson's party on Sunday. I have some pics. She's so petite and simply scrumptious. tee hee!

And my niece, Olivia, had her christening on Sept 13th while mom and dad were here visiting. I have lots of pics from that event too. I'm finding my camera (could be the photographer perhaps) taking really dark shots lately. The church was really well lit for the christening but it still seems like a lot of my photos have really dark backgrounds. Not sure how to fix that. Will post later.

Did I mention that I'm really really super glad Jen is back to work today. I'm glad she's back in general too, we literally have barely stopped talking all morning. So much to discuss after 3 weeks.

Congrats to my college bud, Kerri, and her hubby Ryan, who welcomed a new little bundle of joy on Sept 8th. Baby girl Alannah is adorable!

Pregnancy Update: Nothing new except I am slowly but surely growing out of my regular clothing. I have just a couple pairs of pants and a couple of skirts left that fit and I keep wearing them over and over again. But I kinda feel weird starting to wear maternity clothes at this point because I don't "look" pregnant. Know what I mean? Anyways, I do have some maternity clothes that have been very graciously donated to me from family and friends. I'm taking all the hand-outs I can get to fit because it's absolutely startling how much maternity clothes costs to buy new in the store. Of course I'll have to get a few pieces but I'm trying to refrain from spending too much. My next midwife appointment is tomorrow so I'll let you know how that goes. Hoping to hear the heartbeat this time so we'll see. That'll be SO exciting! If not, I have my routine ultrasound appointment made for Oct 26th. I just can't wait!

And I think that's pretty much it for now. I'm sure I'll think of lots more to tell. And keep in touch for the most recent pics.

Friday, September 15, 2006

My Couch is Calling Me

Well Mom and Dad are at the airport now and will be flying back home to Newfoundland in about 1 hour. They arrived last Wednesday night, kind of a last minute decision. Unfortunately I wasn't able to spend as much time with them as I would have liked because I couldn't take any time off work. But, it's okay, we made the best of our evenings together. They took turns staying with my sister and I and we had one weekend to spend together. Gotta do as much as you can when you don't get to see each other all that often. Hope they have a good flight back. Good thing that storm has passed now. Mom would have been freakin' out if not.

The week at work has been absolutely crazy since Jenny is home in Newfoundland as well. That means I have two desks to work on. I seriously cannot wait to just get home and lay on my couch and put my feet up and do diddly-squat!!

Mom thinks my pregnancy is showing a little bit...he he...she says I have "a little pook" lol :) Personally I think the "pook" has always been there and I'm just at the point now where I can no longer suck it in. Know what I mean? But before long I guess I'll be seeing a real change in my growing belly. I'm so excited to get to the point where I actually look pregnant. I think pregnant women look so cute. But I know when I get to that point I'll probably be feeling like an ugly beached whale. Oh well, just gotta think of the final outcome and it's all worth it.

I was so excited about scrapbooking for a bit this weekend but it seems Christa has ditched me in favour of cooking cod fish....lmao! I suppose I can forgive her since it's such a yummy meal.

And now I really gotta leave this place (i'm finishing up at work and typing this) and go home to my hubster. (Who, by the way, really hurt his back and is probably very stoned on pain killers and muscle relaxers right now).

Bye for now :)

Monday, September 11, 2006

We Remember

It's hard to believe this tragedy ever happened let alone that it was 5 years ago! I still remember hearing the news of the first plane hitting. We listened in disbelief, crowding around Ron's desk to watch CNN and theorizing about what happened - an accident perhaps? And then watching the second plane hit in horror - I will never forgot that image. How the families directly affected have gotten through this terrible loss is beyond me, I simply cannot even imagine. To the people who were there and watched with their own two eyes, to those families who lost friends and loved ones, to the firefighters and police officers who gave their lives, to the volunteers who searched for days on end to recover missing people and who now suffer from cancer and respiratory illnesses as a result, to all of those people, please know you are in all our thoughts and prayers today.

I saw this drawing online by Hannah Beach. The tower on the left is saying "Oh no! I can't take it any longer." while both are crying and holding hands. It really struck me as I'm sure it will you.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Happy Birthday Tara!

Full Day

Erykah begins her first FULL day of school today. Grade 1 is a big step, maybe more for me than for her. Now she'll have to eat lunch at school and have 2 recesses and take the bus with the "big" kids. So scary!

I was explaining to someone this morning - when we were growing up in Newfoundland, when parents sent us off to school, they knew everyone. They knew all of the kids and all of the parents, they knew the teachers, the principal, the janitor. When my sister sends Erykah off to school here in the city, she doesn't really know anybody. (Although Phew! Luckily Erykah's grandma is a teacher at her school in one of the older grades - a relief that she has someone there for her just in case). But still, it's like a whole other world - sending a 6-year old to a foreign place full of bullies and strangers and hall monitors to fend for herself. I don't like the thought of it.

I was reminiscing about Erykah's journal from last year and it makes me remember the wonderful things about school. She's learning so much, has learned to print and spell some small words, enough to write a sentence or two. My sister showed me the journal and I understood why mom always said when she needed cheering up, she would read my school journal. The entries are simple and full of spelling mistakes - the mistakes that show how hard she's trying to "sound out" the words (not knowing yet that some words really do spell differently than they sound until you learn the "tricks"). Each entry has a little drawing and the description below. For example, the "My mommy is having a baby" entry. OR the "I'm going to the ballpark tonight with Auntie Myrna" entry. And my ultimate favourite: the "Hmmm. How did Danielle's blue pencil get in my pencil case?" entry. So cute.

And now begins another year of learning so many new things. I called Erykah and Taylor both last night and wished them a good day and talked about their new backpacks and asked about their new school clothes, etc. They seem happy to be going back so I'm trying to be happy too amidst the worry.

What in the world am I going to do when I have my own kids?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Never Cry Wolf

Frustrating...

She's like the fable "The boy who cried wolf". And one of these days, something is really genuinely going to be wrong with her and then nobody is going to pay attention, no one will care, no one will listen, and not one single person is going to believe her.

Those of you who know me, probably know exactly who I'm talking about.

Those of you who don't know me really well, probably know someone who is exactly like this.

And doesn't it put ya right smack dab in the middle of a moral dilemma? It's one of those situations where I have no idea how far sympathetic human kindness is supposed to go. Should I take the time each and every day to ask "How are you feeling?" or "What happened?" only to spend 15 depressing minutes listening to how horrible her life is, how terrible the health of her family, how devoid of joy the world around her has turned out to be? Should I pretend to be interested? I suppose I shouldn't pretend, I should genuinely be concerned - if for nothing else, for the state of her mental health. For we have all learned that almost all of these ailments are nothing short of a sad effort to gain attention.

Unfortunately though, I have learned to ignore the daily ailments. I turn a blind eye to the fake coughs and the "oh so terrible migraine headaches" (trust me, I have migraines and I wouldn't be functioning like that if I had a migraine so I'm sorry, but it's hard to believe you), the moaning and groaning, the numerous diseases (and when I say numerous, I mean numerous), the extreme depression, the "mine is worse than yours" syndrome, etc. I could go on and on.

I wonder how all of this started? Childhood perhaps? Was that the only way she ever got any attention - when she was sick? Was someone always telling her she was no good and now that's what she believes? What does a person gain from this type of behaviour?

And seriously, one day something's going to go very wrong. There's going to be a real problem to deal with and then when I don't believe it, I'm going to feel so guilty. I'm going to feel like I should have listened, should have helped out. My conscience is plagued with the thought of it. I'm sure it'll pass...sad to say...but in the meantime, just had to get my thoughts out and allow you a moment to delve into my evil "should really have an easier time being nice" psyche.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

First Midwife Appointment

...was yesterday morning. It wasn't in fact a REAL appointment, nothing physical involved. It was more of a chat to introduce, for the midwife (Shirley, in this case) to explain their philosophy and share how the clinic works. Of course, she gave me the shortened version based on the fact that I already have some experience (3, to be exact a.k.a. my sister's 3 girls) with the midwifery clinic.

Shirley and I discussed my crazy heart-shaped uterus. She has had many clients with uterine anomolies and just had a woman deliver her 3rd child with a bicornuate uterus. The woman had to have a c-section for her 1st and 3rd child but delivered naturally for the 2nd. I told her that my family doctor had already sent in a referral to an OB/GYN in Brampton. Of course, I haven't heard from this doctor yet. But that's probably a good thing based on the fact that I've now learned that this particular doctor does not like nor does he cooperate to work with the midwives. He is old and very stuck in his ways and therefore very quick to intervene with medical interventions rather than first using some more natural methods. He is quick to perform a c-section and does not believe in VBAC (Vaginal birth after caesarean). This was the thing back in the day but isn't necessarily the practice now, as many mothers are able to deliver naturally after having a c-section based upon their individual circumstances. She informed me that it was absolutely my choice, that the doctor I was referred to is certainly a wonderful doctor and caregiver who is very cautious. But given the choice, I feel that he is not the one for me. I choose to stick with the midwives and they will in turn consult when needed with an OB who is cooperative with their clinic and practices. After all, I am at quite a high risk of needing a c-section and we have to make sure to do what's best for the baby and for myself. I am so confident in the care the midwives give and am happy they will be the ones to take care of me pre- and post-natally even if I do require surgery during birth.

We also had a discussion about genetic testing. This is a simple blood test and an ultrasound performed at 11 weeks. The results determine possible predisposition to certain birth defects such as downs syndrome. The results can give a false reading. It may come back negative and you still have a baby with "problems" OR it could be a positive in which case they want you to continue with further genetic counselling and diagnostic testing such as CVS or amniocentesis. Here's my opinion on the matter: I advised the midwife that I would NOT be undergoing genetic testing. My reasons? First of all, the test can be false meaning a whole lot of stress if you get a positive result. But most of all, EVEN IF I DID get a positive result I absolutely refuse to have further invasive testing. The most popular seems to be the amnio (which takes a sample of the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby). In my research, I have found that there is between a 0.5 - 1% chance of having a miscarriage after this procedure, a risk I would not be willing to take. Thirdly, let's just say I did have the amnio and it WAS determined that our baby had some sort of "defect" (there is a possibility that these results could still be wrong, by the way, it happened to a friends friend causing her much unnecessary stress), the next question presented to me would be "would you like to abort?" and the answer to this would be an adamant NEGATIVE. And therefore, I do not believe this is the right route for me and will not even being the process of genetic testing. I will take my chances and pray that God chooses to give me a healthy and happy baby. And if not, then I pray He gives us the strength as a family to cope.

In the way of general ultrasounds, I will have one at about 18 weeks. If all is well, this would probably be my one and only ultrasound (not counting the one I had at 6 weeks during my trip to the hospital). Jamie and I have discussed finding out the sex but I really don't want to know at all. It feels like I'd be ruining the surprise. Jamie, on the other hand, is a bit of a nosy-boots so this decision may still be open to some discussion.

And how I am feeling? Physically, I'm pretty good although I have a cold right now. Just had my first pregnancy migraine, haven't had one for a while so I hope this is the last one for long while. Emotionally, (I talked to Christa about this yesterday) I'm feeling very unattractive. My skin and hair always feels oily, I'm breaking out like CRAZY, I'm too tired to care about actually doing my hair so it's ALWAYS up in a twist or a granny bun or a ponytail or a knot of some sort. And I guess I should just suck it up cause I hear that in a couple more months I'll be feeling VERY frustrated with the fact that I'm too big to fit into my regular clothes but will feel too ridiculous to wear maternity clothes since I won't really be showing enough for people to really tell I'm pregnant. This could be quite a rollercoaster ride.

But in all seriousness, despite the doctor visits and the worries over my weird uterus, despite the breakouts and the tiredness, the headaches, or whatever....I am lucky, what I am going through is NOTHING compared to many women and I feel SO VERY BLESSED. I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive husband as well as family and friends, I am blessed to have gotten pregnant quickly, I am blessed to be in a good health, I am blessed to live in a country where prenatal care is so readily available, I am blessed to feel the changes going on in my body as a new life is growing. I am blessed! God is good!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Nothing but Grapes and Sunshine

Ok, so I know it's probably really cruel to tease my husband. But in my defense, he is the worse (well, maybe second to Chris Samms) for teasing people about stuff. Therefore, making fun has become an integral part of our relationship as shown in the following example:

We are watching T.V.
The commercial for Sunmaid Raisins comes on.
Sunmaid's current slogan is "Nothing but Grapes and Sunshine".
Jamie: "I didn't know raisins were grapes"
Me (with the smirky dumbfounded look on my face): "What do you mean you didn't know raisins were grapes?"
Jamie: "I didn't know raisins were made from grapes"
Me: Uh yeah (a.k.a *Duh*)...raisins are just shriveled and dried up grapes...like the slogan says.
Me Again: Laughing "Where did you think raisins came from?"
Jamie: I dunno, I just thought raisins were raisins.
Me: But where did you think they came from? Like did you think they grew on a tree? he he he
Jamie: Stop it, you're not very nice.
Me: Seriously tho (but I'm still laughing), "Did you think they were like a nut of some sort?"
Jamie: I thought maybe they grew on a bush.
Me: Like a raspberry bush? Instead, it's a raisin bush? HA HA!!! I'm writing about this in my blog.
Jamie: NOoooo, that's not fair!
Me: Oh, but I just can't help it, it's so funny!
And then we're both laughing, me hysterically, him trying to pretend he's upset and holding back a grin.
So here I am....making fun of something completely innocent that any of us could have easily taken for granted. Unless you're a geek like me you probably don't question things like "what are raisins?" or "What is tapioca?" (for which I've previously written a blog, you can read the entry here). And now you know the answer to both.
Sorry babe, but you'd do the same to me...*smile*...and it's not so bad, I'm sure you're not the only one.